My Testimony

My salvation experience and testimony tells of the boundless grace of God for sinners, even one such as I. I was raised in a Christian home as a church elder’s son. I grew up hearing the Truth from the time I was born; though I believed it, I still wanted to go my own way. In my early teenage years, I rebelled and went after the delights of the world. In them, I found my thirst for ultimate satisfaction only grew greater, and my feelings of helplessness and entrapment in sin only grew stronger. In His mercy God opened my eyes to see these sinful pleasures were fleeting; they would only lead to my eternal doom, and I was powerless to free myself from them.

At the age of 16, in an act of desperation, I told my parents all that I had been up to, confessed my total inability to stop despite my best efforts, and asked for help. More than this, through this confession, Jesus led me to His throne of grace to receive mercy and find grace to help in my time of need. By the power of His Spirit and through the counsel of His Word, He showed me in Him alone would I find satisfaction, salvation and freedom from the sin I was enslaved to. I left my old life behind, changed schools, separated from my old friend group, and stepped out to live for God.

Although I was determined to live a new life, my twenties involved backsliding during the first 2 years of my 4 year enlistment in the Marine Corps. But the same redemption and mercy God showed to King David was also shown to me. He mercifully granted me repentance and led me to obey Him out of love for Him by the power of His Spirit in me. In my stumbling, the Lord did not cast me away, but rather disciplined me with the discipline of a loving Father. He drew me out into a dry land without water, and taught me to love Him and His Word more than anything in this world as He gave me living water.

God has continued this loving discipline through chronic illness and pain. For over 7 years now, I have been living with debilitating chronic head pain and fatigue day and night, without respite, and I have also contracted Lyme Disease due to my chronically weakened immune system, among other certain medical issues. These issues are so severe that even leaving home for a few hours is very difficult. I do not remember what it is like to not be in pain. Through this season of physical and emotional suffering God has been cleansing me further of the idols of my past life. Through many tears and anguished cries of “Why Lord? Why?” He has taught me that nothing in this world can satisfy my search for purpose and peace. There is no hope to be found in a good career, human applause or financial stability. We will all die someday, and we cannot take any of these things with us. Through this infirmity He lovingly put my selfish dreams for my life to death, and showed me He has a better way, a “path of righteousness” laid out for me to walk in for His name sake.

I would not trade the suffering of these past years for anything because in them God has taught me to rely on Him, seek contentment in Him, and to love His precious Word. I have spent the last few years studying His Word out of a true and earnest desire to know Jesus Christ more. This desire is God given because for most of my life reading the Bible or praying was a chore. But by having much of my physical strength and comfort taken away I learned God is my source of strength and comfort. He has given me hope that even a life lived in pain every single day has significance and is preparing me for an eternal weight of glory I can hardly even comprehend right now. There is so much hope for all of us as we suffer in this life. This life is not the end and we need to have that eternal perspective if we are to carry on in the path Christ has cut for us to walk in a fallen world.

Jesus is my Life, my Lord and my greatest Friend. I love Him and I thank Him for keeping count of every tear I have shed. If you do not know Him, I invite you to consider Christ. He saved my life, and He wants to save yours too.