A study of Ruth 1:10–13
”And they said to her, “No, we will return with you to your people.” But Naomi said, “Turn back, my daughters; why will you go with me? Have I yet sons in my womb that they may become your husbands? Turn back, my daughters; go your way, for I am too old to have a husband. If I should say I have hope, even if I should have a husband this night and should bear sons, would you therefore wait till they were grown? Would you therefore refrain from marrying? No, my daughters, for it is exceedingly bitter to me for your sake that the hand of the Lord has gone out against me.”“
Ruth 1:10-13 ESV
Definitions of the original language in the context of this passage:
-Return: “נָשׁ֖וּב”, “nā·šûḇʹ”; verb, Qal, yiqtōl (imperfect), first person, plural — turn back, return.
-Naomi: “נָעֳמִ֜י”, “nǒ·ʿǒmîʹ”; noun, proper, feminine, singular, absolute — Naomi = ‘pleasant’ or ‘my delight’; the wife of Elimelech, the mother in law of Ruth.
-Turn Back: “שֹׁ֣בְנָה”, “šōʹ·ḇenā(h)”; verb, Qal, imperative, second person, feminine, plural — turn back, return.
-Daughters: “בְנֹת”, “ḇenōṯ”; noun, common, feminine, plural, construct — daughter, girl, daughter-in-law.
-Sons: “בָנִים֙”, “ḇā·nîmʹ”; noun, common, masculine, plural, absolute — son, male child.
-Hope: “תִקְוָ֔ה”, “ṯiq·wā(h)’”; noun, common, feminine, singular, absolute — cord, hope, expectation, things hoped for.
-Bear: “יָלַ֥דְתִּי”, “yā·lǎḏʹ·tî”; verb, Qal, qātal (perfect), first person, singular — to bear, bring forth, of childbirth.
-Exceedingly: “מְאֹד֙”, “meʾōḏʹ”; noun, common, singular, absolute — exceedingly, much, greatly, with abundance, with force.
-Bitter: “מַר”, “mǎr”; verb, Qal, qātal (perfect), third person, masculine, singular — to be bitter, desperate, bewildered.
-The Hand Of: “יַד”, “yǎḏ”; noun, common, singular, construct — hand, strength, power.
-The Lord: “ יְהוָה֙”, “YHWH”; — noun, proper, masculine, singular, absolute — Yahweh, Jehovah, the Lord.
-Has Gone Out: “יָצְאָ֥ה”, “yǒṣ·ʾā(h)ʹ”; verb, Qal, qātal (perfect), third person, feminine, singular — to go or come out (with a purpose or result).
Observation/Summary (short explanation of what the passage says in your own words):
In the preceding verses the widowed and childless Naomi began to return to Bethlehem in Judah, and she told her daughters-in-law, Orpah and Ruth, to return to their Moabite families and remarry. They had been together as a family for about 10 years at this point and after Naomi told them this they all wept loudly together. Ruth and Orpah at first refused to leave and insisted they would stay with Naomi, but again, Naomi urged them to return to their families and remarry, because they would likely have no future if they stayed with her. Naomi then closed her statement by saying she was exceedingly bitter because the hand of the Lord was against her, and Ruth and Orpah had suffered because of it.
Implication (what does this mean to us):
This passage is the continuation of a heart wrenching goodbye that began in verse 6. Naomi’s husband had died not long after taking her and their two sons to Moab to escape famine in Bethlehem. It seems that shortly after the death of Naomi’s husband, her two sons each married Moabite women, Orpah and Ruth. After living together as a family for about 10 years, Naomi’s sons died without having had any children. This meant, Naomi, Orpah and Ruth were now childless widows, and widows were on the lowest rung of the economic ladder because they had no family to provide for them and almost no way of providing for themselves. As a childless widow in a foreign land, Naomi heard the Lord had brought an end to the famine back in Bethlehem, so Naomi decided her best option was to return home and try to scrape by for the rest of her days. She knew Ruth and Orpah were still of a marriageable age, and that their best chance of remarrying was to return to their families in Moab. So, she urged them to return home instead of going with her to Bethlehem where they would likely live in abject poverty for the rest of their lives.
At hearing this they all wept loudly together. They had been living together as a family for about 10 years, and evidently they had grown very close, and by the way Naomi calls them “daughters,” we can tell they were indeed very close. So, in verse 10, Ruth and Orpah tell Naomi, “No, we will return with you to your people.” Naomi responds though by telling them to turn back because she had no other sons for them to marry, and even if she gave birth to sons that very day they would be too old to marry them by the time they were grown. Naomi said this because at this time in ancient Israel there was a law where the brother of a deceased man who had no sons, would marry his brother’s widow and take the responsibility to provide her with a son. He would be like a surrogate father and provider. This was a compassionate practice meant to provide widows with children, to carry on the name of the deceased man and to provide for the family. This is why Naomi brings up the fact that she has no other sons as one reason why Ruth and Orpah should return home.
The words “return” or “turn Back” are used 5 times in verses 6–12. Naomi had been away from the Lord, and in returning to Israel, she was returning to God in a sense, because at this time God commanded the Israelites to remain in the promised land. Ruth and Orpah, although they were still in Moab, had likely learned something of who God is in their relationship with Naomi over the years. So, in a way they had come into this new experience of who God is through their marriage to Naomi’s sons, but now Naomi was urging them to return to their pagan families and ways. While this was a desperate situation, Naomi should have encouraged them to come with her, because pagan people could come to Israel and convert to covenantal worship of Yahweh, but she urged them to return to their families instead. Naomi was understandably concerned for their physical welfare in this world, but instead of inviting them to come with her and enter into a covenantal relationship with Yahweh and likely experience physical hardship as poor widows, she urged them to return to their families where they would have a chance at remarrying and prospering in this world.
It is good and right to show concern for the physical well being of others, but we should always remember this life is not all there is. After this life we will all stand before God. Those who have believed in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior will spend eternity in fullness of joy and pleasure forevermore. But those who have rejected Him will spend eternity suffering for their sin. It is easy to understand where Naomi is coming from, but she should have prioritized their eternal well being over their temporary physical well being. As we read further though, we will see that Naomi is struggling with more than simply a desire for them to prosper in this world. She is struggling with God as she tries to make sense of how her life has gone.
Her lack of sons for them to marry is the first reason why Naomi says they should turn back, but the second reason Naomi gives tells us a lot about how she felt. She says, “for it is exceedingly bitter to me for your sake that the hand of the Lord has gone out against me.” We should first notice the irony in this statement. Naomi’s name means “pleasant,” but here we read she is “exceedingly bitter.” She is bitter and frustrated with God and how her life has gone. She and her family came to Moab to escape a famine and preserve their lives, but here she is 10 years later with nothing to show for it except a dead husband and two dead sons.
Her husband, Elimelech, led his family to Moab to seek a better life, but they only found death. More than that, they never should have left Israel in the first place, because God had commanded the people to remain in the land and be separate from the paganism around them. But then things got hard, and they disobeyed and left for Moab. We don’t know if this is why they died, but we do know that when it looked like obedience to God might cost them their lives, they buckled and fled. They made a spiritual compromise and fled to a pagan land seeking life, but they only found death there. Would it not have been better to stand their ground and obey the Lord even if it cost them their lives? Is it not infinitely and eternally better to suffer for doing good rather than for disobeying God? I think the lesson we can learn from Elimelech is that if something is not worth dying for, it is not worth living for either. And God is the one and only source of life. To separate from Him is to separate from life itself.
Because of these circumstances Naomi believed the hand of the Lord was against her, and she had become exceedingly bitter. And she was not just bitter for her own sake, but also for the sake of Orpah and Ruth. She felt they had experienced all this grief with her as her sons, their husbands, died because God was against her. So, in this moment, as Naomi continues to urge them to return home and try to remarry, she is telling them, “My life has gone this way because the Lord’s hand is against me. You have not been able to bear sons in these last years and your husbands have died because of your association with me. The Lord is against me, so if you want to have a chance at a good life, leave me and return to your families.”
This phrase, “the hand of the Lord,” refers to the strength, power and will of God. Naomi felt like God was actively working against her. She rightly identified that nothing happens to us that God has not commanded or allowed to happen, but in her grief and bitterness, her perception of God’s character became corrupted. Naomi, while bitter about her own state of affairs, also looked at these two younger women who shared in her grief, and she was bitter that the Lord had pulled them into this sorrow. Can any of us relate? Do any of us look at the painful circumstances in our lives and wrestle with exceeding bitterness towards God? Do we also look at the people around us who are negatively impacted by our suffering and grow even more bitter that they have to suffer on our account? I think most people can relate, and everyone who cannot will likely be able to relate sooner or later, because life in a fallen world is fraught with unavoidable peril and hardship. For one reason or another, it can be all too easy to feel like “the hand of the Lord” is against us.
Bitterness can be contagious, and Naomi’s bitterness threatened to spread and drive Orpah and Ruth away from her. They understood the desperate situation they were in and continued to offer to stay with Naomi, but again and again she rebuffed their loving offer. Naomi’s bitterness could have been contagious and therefore isolating. The perceived indignity of life itself is a contagion that seeks to drown us with bitterness and despair, and to drive the people around us either into that same bitter hopelessness or far away to leave us alone in our bitterness. Part of the reason Naomi tells them to return home is out of compassion, because she wanted them to remarry and live well, but bitterness also clouded her judgment and reason. In her bitterness she had begun to believe some lies about God. She began to believe God was actively working against her, and rather than invite Orpah and Ruth to return with her to Bethlehem and be a part of God’s people, she urged them to return to the darkness of paganism. Would it have been better for them to live well in this life and go to perdition in the end, or to live in poverty as one of God’s people and enter into His Kingdom at the end of this life? The answer to this question seems obvious, but to an embittered soul, short sighted foolishness can begin to look like wisdom.
She should have gratefully accepted their help, and in the long run they all would have benefited from it. The lie of bitterness is that we need to drive people away because we don’t want them to experience the same pain as us, and also that God is against us. But in these moments we must combat the lie of bitterness with the truth of God. Even when we stumble in sin, God is for us. It is true God is sovereign over every detail in time and space, but even when things go badly for us, God is for us. Even when God acts to stop us from doing something we want to do, He is for us. As Psalm 48:14 says, “This is God, our God forever and ever. He will guide us forever.” And in regards to the sin that condemns us to eternal suffering 1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
All of this is only possible because of the life, death and resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ. God has not abandoned us, and He is not against us. He bankrupted heaven and gave His only Son to save us. For this reason, and many more, we can have absolute confidence that the embittering circumstances in our lives are really God’s loving hand working in ways that we can not understand in our finitude and sinfulness.
Now, Naomi was exceedingly bitter, and this is something we can all relate to. But she was also obedient, and this is something we can learn from. While struggling with bitterness, she still decided to return to the land. And we can think of this as returning to the Lord because obediently living in the land of Israel was an expression of obedience to and love for Yahweh, because at this time He had commanded the people to stay there. Naomi felt bitter, but she moved towards God. If we are in a place where we feel exceedingly bitter because the hand of the Lord has gone out against us, we must learn from Naomi. The remedy for our bitterness is in God. Difficult circumstances are meant to bring us into a closer relationship with Him and to teach us to rely on Him and Him alone. As we will soon read, the Lord will bless Naomi abundantly for returning to Him. We may not experience the same kind of material blessings Naomi will experience in our earthly lives, but if we cling to God, we will experience far greater, eternal blessing.
We must, by the power of the Holy Spirit, reject feelings of bitterness, despair and anger, and instead cling to Christ. God is for us. God is always loving, wise and perfectly just in everything He does and allows to happen. If His hand has gone against us it is for our good and His glory. Even when bitterness comes, we must not submit to it, but rather, cling to Christ and abide in His love. As we do so, He will restore to us His peace that surpasses understanding and His incomparable joy.
Application (How does this change how I think, act and pray?):
This passage should cause us to think about whether it is better to live in obedience to God, even if it means living in poverty and hardship in this world, or if it is better to prosper in this world while living in total disobedience to God. Obedience to God does not always mean hardship. Many times it in fact does not. But in a world under the curse of sin the followers of Jesus are opposed, and there are many instances where doing the right thing may cause more difficulty than doing the wrong thing. Such is life in a fallen world. But God is for us. Everything we experience, good or bad, is sent or allowed by God to draw us to Him. Prosperity in this world is not a bad thing, but it is a dangerous illusion. Rich or poor, we all have the same problem: sin. We all stand condemned before Elohim Kedoshim (The Holy God) for our sin. But God has not abandoned us. While circumstances in life may serve to make us exceedingly bitter, God is exceedingly loving, compassionate and good.
This passage should cause us to reflect on what is most important. This world and all of its pleasures are fading away. Only those who are in Christ will be spared the coming destruction. And we who are in Christ will experience His perfect new creation forever (Revelation 21). No matter where we may have wandered, or what we might have experienced, God is for us. Bitterness, despair and anger come and go, but we must come to Christ and never let go. For He will never leave us or forsake us.
Self Reflection:
Where am I struggling with bitterness? Is it towards circumstances, people or even God Himself?
Have I allowed this bitterness to drive me away from God and away from people in my life who love me and want to help me?
What steps can I take each day to reject bitterness and move towards Jesus and the people in my life who I have been pushing away? (Prayer is primary, but action must follow, and then more prayer! God is listening to us and actively working. He is for us.)
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