This Weight of Pain and Grief

This weight of pain and grief,
Is crushing me into the ground.
I cannot bear it, it beggars belief,
Day and night my head does pound.

I want to slam my fists and shout;
Oh God, I just want this to end.
Of this suffering, desperately, I want out;
To my anguished cry, Lord, please attend.

Jesus, unlike You, I’m weak,
And I cannot bear the strain.
Please hearken to my pitiful squeak,
And let Your mercy fall like rain.

For, You were crucified in weakness;
You drank deeper of suffering than any other.
Be a light to me amidst life’s bleakness,
And all my fear and doubt do smother.

Wipe away my phlegm and tears,
Hold me Father, I’m ever so cold.
I’ve swam through despair these past nine years,
As dark waves of sickness, incessantly, rolled.

Hardly was I married,
While in the bloom of young manhood,
When by infirmity I was harried;
Yet, I know it has been for my good.

For, often I prayed to You,
“Lord make me a better man,
I am trapped in sin; it’s true.
Save me as only You can.

Rend these shackles from my wrists;
Rescue me from sinful pride and lust.
Grab hold of me tightly with both fists,
To You alone, my soul, I entrust.”

Thank You for wielding this affliction,
As a blacksmith does a hammer,
With skillful force, much heat and friction,
To transform raw metal to a thing of glamour.

You’ve removed the weight of my sin,
And replaced it with a burden that’s blessedly light.
Through fiery hardship You’ve given discipline,
And illuminated this cold, dark night.

You are taking me home to glory;
And will carry me across the finish line.
Graciously You’ve rewritten my story,
Forgiven my sin and said, “You’re mine.”

This temporary weight of grief and pain,
Will soon give way to immeasurable pleasure.
You’ve brought good from evil that I might obtain,
You, Jesus, the eternal treasure.